For Immediate Release – April 14,2017

HOOTENANNY, CHI – Hootenanny’s self-proclaimed “bad boy”, online assistant editor Eddie Loera recently switched to a standing desk, becoming the third staff member at the post-production house to succumb to the standing desk “hysteria” sweeping the nation. “It happened just a few days ago,” explains Loera. “I was trying to turn my swivel chair so that I could change from my outdoor shoes to my indoor shoes, which is something I really do. But my chair just wouldn’t budge! I just kept thinking to myself, ‘This is it. My life is over’.”

Tired of Loera’s chair-related depression, his coworkers were quick to act, pooling together enough loose change and whatever Visa® Gift Cards they had lying around, to purchase Loera’s new standing desk. Well, everyone except for coworker, Sean “Fancy Legs” Halvorsen, who switched to a standing desk back in 2012. “I’m really happy for Eddie, I really am.  But to be honest, I just don’t see what the big deal is. I mean, standing desks? Really? Everyone knows that elliptical desks are the hottest thing on the scene,” exclaimed Halvorsen, frantically searching for “elliptical desks” on Amazon.

At the time of this press release, Loera was “still getting used to this standing thing”. Staff members reported that Loera looked tired but seemed to be in good spirits adding, “his calves look pretty sick, bro.”

Loera’s direct supervisor, Jim Annerino, declined to comment.